A father's chronicle (Examinations)

I think every parent in Singapore must have a few worrisome moments about their child's education in Singapore. Some of the major milestones are: Getting into a primary school of choice, and the Primary School Leaving Examination (PSLE).

Theophilus is going through his final phase of PSLE preparation. To be exact, the preparation starts some 2 years back. The syllabus stretches from Primary 4 -6. It can be quite anxiety to really prepare them for this exam.

For those who are reading this blog from abroad, just some background: It might be a little strange, but in Singapore, there is a lot of stress on academic excellence. Yes, we are trying to loosen up, but that will still take time before the society can really accept those who are not that academically inclined. It can also sometimes on the extreme side of life - going for extra lessons that is on advance level of the subject.

Anyway, I must admit that I have my own fair share of worries for Theophilus. Probably it is due to the way my generation was groomed, we still view education has a major impact to one's livelihood. Life can be tough for those who have not acquired sufficient academic qualifications.

Perhaps, Singapore is a very small nation. A small population. A small piece of land. It will not be able to match the variety that comes with a larger population. I can see our nation progresses. I can also see our effort to change. I can also sense our want to open up more opportunities and avenues to reach 'success'. Nevertheless, my son is taking PSLE this year and in a couple of weeks time... this can be a little nightmare.

As I look at the standard of the examination questions, I am some what bewildered. I often asked myself: You mean you are doing this at this tender age? E.g. I never did Geometric Progression until I was at age 15. They are already doing it at 12. The geometry questions are no longer that straight forward. Speed, time, distance... all the questions... I often wonder are they testing English language or testing mathematical concepts and understanding.

In some ways, I 'pitied' my son's generation. I have less pressure. I never had the push of 'internet' when I was young. Computers were a rare thing - even calculators were a 'wow' back in my time. I have the time to look at clouds. Now, I wonder how often Theophilus have the time to look out of the window and just day dream!

I hope the examinations go off quickly. I want him to enjoy life and to really take stock of all the goodness that we have around us. I hope he can grow up slowly and not too quickly.... I hope he won't get discourage to learn with the claws of examination choking his throat.

Read through the New Testament (2013). Weekdays only!

We are starting onto the New Testament again. This will be our second attempt as a family to read through the New Testament. It has changed our lives. And as a dad, I think this is really something I want to thank God for helping me to put in place as a tradition.

Every year, daddy will plan for next year's bible reading, print out the plan and set everybody up for reading. So, here is next years NT reading plan. Again, reading only for weekdays and exclude weekends. You can use the weekends to catch up if missed out some days in the week.

The plan can be download from here.

We did it! Almost...

Remember last year we set ourselves a target to read through the Old Testament? I am please to let you know that we did it... well... almost everybody except for Gracia - she is 7 years old so need to cut her some slag. But she is not far from finishing - she is merely 4 OT books left to go (she is at Zephaniah). She will probably be able to complete it within the week. She was visibly upset this evening, but she will make it up soon...

A father's chronicle (Love can be used as an excuse too)

We found a slip of paper with some scribbles of Gracia some years back.

Check this out.

A father's chronicle (A taste of heaven)

I have not been blogging for some time. I hope to back date some writings. It is not a lack of material to write. It is a lack of time to write.

I just want to bless those who are following my blog with this wonderful experience I have this morning.

Gracia came to me this morning, to request that I unlock the screen of our tablet PC. I did it and before she zoom off, I asked her to come back.

I laid my hands on her head and bless her. Praying, inter alia, that she will have wisdom and love for God. She said 'Amen.' and looked at me, and said, 'And bless you too, dad.'

I felt that I saw a glimpse of my 'return of investment'. A taste of heaven for just a short moment. One day, she will grow up to be a beautiful lady who loves God... confident and fully assured that she is loved and is capable to love.

We have done it!

Yes! I am happy to let everybody know that our family have completed reading the New Testament in the year 2011!!!! Horray!

We will start on the journey of Old Testament in the year 2012.

Read through the Old Testament (2012) weekdays only!

Last year, I did a read through the New Testament plan for reading during the weekdays only. Our family is almost completed the reading of the New Testament in 2011. We are preparing ourselves for reading through the Old Testament in 2012 now.

I have created a reading plan, since those that are available are mostly for reading through the Old Testament for all the days of the year. I wanted one which only covers the weekdays of 2012.

So, I have to hand-craft it a little.

I am putting it up for anyone who is interested to read through the Old Testament in 2012. You can download a copy of it here.

A father's chronicle (Success)

I am doing a sharing tonight with some members of my extended family. We are looking into Proverbs 3. In the course of my preparation, I stumbled upon the question:

What is ‘success’ to you? How do you qualify a ‘successful life’?

So, I took some time to mull over this topic which I have tried to wrestle for quite a few times. None of those times, I recorded or put in writing my thoughts. I thought (after such a long recess from this blog) it is good to update you on what happened in my journey as a dad.

The first thing that I wanted to find out is what are the general areas which people are looking at when they do such an assessment. I chanced upon this poll. And in other forums, the area of family (including having a child) are also part of being part of attainment of success in life.

Ironically, getting a job one desire is only 21%. One would have expected higher rating since we spend most of our time in this area (clocking a minimum of a third of the day? and for some even more? Perhaps, if it is compounded with wealth and prestige is more like the rating that I was anticipating.)

Anyway, I am successful. In many ways and not just one dimension. Let me share with you how I came to this thankful realization.

I am doing some part-time studies now, and on Monday night, Yan brought the kids to my school to fetch me home. They waited for a couple of minutes. Gracia was the first to notice that I am walking down the flight of stairs. She anticipated my coming but sat at the cafe. When I finally appeared about 50 m from where they are waiting, both of my kids burst into a sprint!

"Daddyyyy......!!!"

With arms flung wide apart, and hair flown backwards due to the quick dash towards me, Gracia and Theophilus were the first to greet me after a long lecture. They gave me a big hug. They missed me. Yan followed closely and planted a peck on my cheek. We were not ashame to express our affections for each other in public. I planted a kiss on everyone of them and hoisted Gracia into my arms and carry her to the car.

This is not a drama. This is real life. It happens often in my life. Not something for me to take for granted. It is a precious thing. It is filed under 'Good memories' and 'Happy moments'.

So, yes, I agree with the poll 'Happiness' is an important ingredient to 'Success' (not just wealth and prestige). But what is 'Happiness'? Is being 'happy' equivalent to 'happiness'? This I have tried to wrestle for a while, and my current stand is that they are not immediately equivalent. While not trying to be vague, I am very thankful for the many blessings in my life - the people that God has planted to help me to grow.

I am successful (whether I do well at job or in my studies) and I am grateful to God for blessing me a little each day at a time.

A father's chronicle (A father's message from beyond the grave)

I came across this writing today, and I wanted to share it with you.

I often pondered the similar set of challenges: How could I communicate with my children when I move on to the after life. It is no secret to Yan - I kept a diary. A diary that I have written for my children. At one time, I wrote for Theophilus. I often felt that boys need more instructions (we never did figure things out till late in life and sometimes that could be too late). Along to way, Yan pointed out to me this folly and I began to write to Gracia too in my diary.

Most of the papers are writings of things of my life, happenings, lessons learnt, disappointment faced, discouraged encountered, joy found. I didn't want them to see a dad who has no struggles, worries and own fair share of lost-lessness. And if that peek at the cracks relieve them the pressure of aiming for the impossible in life, perhaps, I have helped them in a certain stretch of life.

I am inspired by Paul in this article (coincidentally, we share at least one thing in common - our first name is the same). A dad is forever... even after life.

To my children too, I hope to leave them words of instructions which I have raised them up with since they are in my arms: Love God and keep His commandments, for this is the sole duty of man.

A father's chronicle (A song which still touches my heart)

Four years back, I blog on my kids' school orientation. The song was 'In whom I can trust'.

I want to include here two other clips which I found on this song. Yes, one of them is also filmed in Presbyterian Primary school.



This is the other clip that I came across which is taken one year after my son went into Pei Hwa. I guess, my son must be one of those singing it again....



I cannot underestimate the importance of immersing my kids into such environment, though I do hope that there are even more being done to showcase christian leadership in the school environment.

A little sober warning (Matthew 18:6):

But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.

Let those who handle the lives of these little ones be careful and not do anything that might stumble them. 

A father's chronicles (Letters)

A friend introduced me to this song (Letter - Greetings to a 15 year old). I thought the lyrics are very beautiful. In many ways, it encompasses the gist of what I would also want to write to my kids. The good thing is that there is English subtitles, even though the song was sung in Japanese.




English Lyrics:

Dear you, who is reading this letter
I wonder where you are and what you are doing now
For me, who is 15 years old
there are worries of which I cannot speak
If this is a letter to my future self,
surely I can confide in myself
Now,it seems I'm being defeated
and I'm about to cry
For me,who's seemingly about to disappear
whose words should I believe in?
My one and only heart has been broken so many times
in the midst of this pain,
I live the present


Dear you, thank you
I have something i want to tell the 15 year old you
If you continue asking what you should do and where you should go,
you'll be able to see the answer
the rough sea of youth
maybe tough
but towards the shores of tomorrow,
row your boat of dreams

Now, don't be defeated
don't shed a tear
during these times when it seems like you're about to disappear
you should beleive in your own voice,
For me, as an adult,
when I'm hurt
there are still sleepless night
but I'm living the bittersweet present

[Bridge]
There's meaning to everything in life,
so build your dreams without fear
(Keep on believe that)

It seems I'm being defeated
and I'm about to cry
For me, who's seemingly about to disappear
whose words should I believe in?
Don't be defeated,
don't shed a tear
during these times when it seems like you're about to disappear,
you should believe in your own voice
No matter what era we're in,
there's no running away from sorrow
So show your smile
and go on living the present
go on living the present

Dear you, who's reading this letter
I wish you happiness.

Japanese Lyrics:

Haikei kono tegami yonde iru anata wa 
Doko de nani o shite iru no darou
Juugo no boku ni wa dare ni mo 
Hanasenai nayami no tane ga aru no desu

Mirai no jibun ni atete kaku tegami nara
Kitto sunao ni uchiakerareru darou

Ima make sou de naki sou de kiete shimai sou na boku wa
Dare no kotoba o shinji arukeba ii no?
Hitotsu shikanai kono mune ga nando mo barabara ni warete
Kurushii naka de ima o ikite iru
Ima o ikite iru

Haikei arigatou juugo no anata ni tsutaetai koto ga aru no desu
Jibun towa nande doko e mukau beki ka toi tsudzukereba miete kuru

Areta seishun no umi wa kibishii keredo
Asu no kishibe e to yume no fune yo susume

Ima makenaide nakanaide kiete shimai sou na toki wa
Jibun no koe o shinji arukeba ii no
Otona no boku mo kizutsuite nemurenai yoru wa aru kedo
Nigakute amai ima o ikite iru

Jinsei no subete ni imi ga aru kara 
Osorezu ni anata no yume o sodatete
Keep on believing

Make sou de naki sou de kiete shimai sou na boku wa
Dare no kotoba o shinji arukeba ii no?
Aa makenaide nakanaide kiete shimai sou na toki wa
Jibun no koe o shinji arukeba ii no
Itsu no jidai mo kanashimi o sakete wa tourenai keredo
Egao o misete ima o ikite ikou
Ima o ikite ikou

Haikei kono tegami yonde iru anata ga
Shiawase na koto o negaimasu

A christian father's chronicle (2011 Read through the New Testament)

For those dads who are preparing their families to read through the Bible, here is my little contribution for 2011. It is a plan for reading through the New Testament in the entire year of 2011 (minus off weekends, so only 1 chapter a day on weekdays).

You can use it as you deem fit.

A father's chronicle (One of my favourite shot)

This was taken on 11 June 2010. I still like it very much.

A father's chronicle (Hair for Hope)

I wanted to do something different this year. One of my wish list came true today. I went for the Hair for Hope event and supported Children's Cancer Foundation.

As I was not able to register online, I was one of the walk-in shavees. I arrived before 10 am, just in case I missed the chance to do this meaning activity.

(Extracted from a form of HFH 2010)

The shaving of heads represents each child's ordeal and fight against cancer, as treatment of cancer, including chemotheraphy, can cause hair loss. Through this symbolic gesture, CCF aims to achieve the following objectives:

1. Create awareness of childhood cancer in Singapore

2. Demostrate to children with cancer and their families that they are not alone in their fight against cancer

3. Boost the self-esteem of children with hair lose by sending the message that there is nothing wrong with losing their hair or being bald

4. Raise funds to help children with cancer and their families

5. Build a community of support for children with cancer and their families

Here are some shots that I took.


That's me.... before...



That's me... after...


I was walking with Theophilus... and here is a snaplet of our conversation.

Theophilus: Dad, I will do what you did when I grow up.
Dad: Why only when you grow up? You are afraid of being tease at in school?
Theophilus: Yup, I think so.
Dad: It's OK. When you grow up, you can make your own decision and you can do the same when you really want to do it, OK?

I know he has been thinking a lot of what I have done today.

A christian father's chronicle (The Sorrows of Fathers and Sons)

Just read this. I think it has a ring of truth: it reveals a kind of bond between fathers and sons that is the foundation of pain, not its removal.

Preparing for a journey this year (A father's chronicle)

There were many things that I wanted to do when I was young. I wanted to do research. More specifically, I wanted to do computer simulation of drug effectiveness to Leukaemia - and only for children.

I do not think I can do that now. There was once, I wrote to a local university and they just drop the idea of having me to do my PhD. I am "too old".

Anyhow, I want to prepare for another journey this year. I want to embark on a journey with my family (especially with Theophilus). I wanted to volunteer in Children's Cancer Foundation. I wanted to bring joy and laughter to children who are suffering from cancer.

Yan is so wonderful. She passed me a pamplet from CCF (Children's Cancer Foundation) tonight knowing my heart's desire to embark on it this year. I am delighted. Thank you so much, Yan!

I wrote in to inquire tonight... I hope they will respond favourably and that I will do what my heart is drawn to do. To open a new window for Theophilus - the world is more than just earning money, studying hard and getting all the good things in life.

We can love. We are fully capable to love people.

When he was young, I have already taught him: Don't love things. Love people. Now, we are going to move from internalization to externalization.

A father's chronicle (Letter received)

I posted the snail mail yesterday, and Theophilus received it today.

He was so happy. Came into my room and gave me a big hug. I noticed that he wrote a message at the bottom of the mail - "Me 2!"

Yes, my last sentence....

Remember always - I love you the way you are.

A father's chronicle (A tradition to be handled down)

Today is the second day of the Lunar New Year. It marks a milestone for me. I am beginning a tradition. A tradition of writing. Writing from a father to his son. Not the electronic form, but the old-fashioned hand written letter. Posted. Snail mail.

I have been wanting to write to Theophilus for quite some time now. Like what I wrote in my letter to him:

I think it is a strange thing to have a father writing to his son when all he needs to do is called out his son's name. But, I think writing is a very precious thing. Our writing shows our inner character and thoughts. Even the strength of our hand writing protrays or betrays our many emotions.

So, I have started on a new journey. A journey of words. A journey with my son. And hopefully, from this point forth, he will hand this tradition down to our sons to come. Letters between father and son. To share on our thoughts, our world view on so many topics. Of our struggles. Our failures and success. Our hopes and our prayers.

Today, I started a tradition.

A christian father's chronicle (Proverbs 12:1)

Last night Yan was reading Proverbs to the children.

Proverbs 12:1 (New International Version)

¹ Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge,

       but he who hates correction is stupid.

The last word caught Gracia's attention. She has been disobedient the whole day and when the word was read, she cried! Literally, she could not contain it. She does not want to be stupid. She wants to clever. A clever girl. And she wonders whether she will be 'not stupid anymore'.

We prayed together as a family and seek God's wisdom to love discipline. When we love the discipline that God place in our lives, we love Him. Not that we will enjoy the discipline while we go through it, but we have the safe assurance that He does it for our good and it will turn out that way in the end.

A father's chronicle (Joining a club)

Last week, Theophilus went for an assessment. I guess it must be very popular to join the Robotics club that's why they need the children to go through an assessment.

Anyhow, he went through the test and I must say that he came home quite devastated.

They said very plainly that since there are limited number of places in the club, those who didn't pass the test should "get lost". That hit him quite hard and I guess were really quite a cruel word tool to other children as well. He cried when he reached home recalling quite a few of those questions he was unable to do.

I sat there quietly as Yan relate the incident to me. I guess those questions must have needed his spatial imagination quite a lot. Anyway, we comforted him and assured him that if he is serious about it, we could always do Robotics on our own (yes, we do have Lego Mindstorm and I even developed an IDE for him so that he can program the brick). Furthermore, we could even sign up as independent contestant to compete with his school too. It all depends on how determine he is on this learning.

This evening, I received a suprise message on my mobile.

Dad, igot accepted in2 robotics.

A short SMS. He wanted to share with me his joy. I rejoiced too. It is what he wanted.

Just before he sleeps, I asked him

So, you want to learn computer programming?

And he said 'yes'.

Being in the IT line, I really do not like the idea that my kids end up in this line too. Then again, I wonder whether I should block the way entirely and not leave it to his heart's desire.

Congras, son. I am happy for you.