A christian father's chronicle (The real thing)

Zoe just sent me some quotes from her "good & long time friend" - Royston. I read it. Fabulous. At risk of infringing on copyright, let me attribute all creation of this article to Royston and Kaitlyn. So no stealing here, OK?

But read this. I like reading this... it is like being "invisible" and hearing the bedside conversations of dad and child (I have many with Theophilus)....

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Extracted from Royston's post

I have been putting Kaitlyn to bed lately, and we have the most interesting chats:

R: "Why are you afraid of the dark?"

K: "I don't like the dark"

R: "Which part of the dark are you afraid off?"

K: "The clowns will come and get me"

----silence----

K: "Daddy can you lie here a bit longer?"

R desperate to get back to work...

R: "Whenever you are scared, you can pray "Dear Jesus""

K: "Dear Jesus" and she continued herself "make me brave and that your angels watch over me, Amen!"

R: "Amen! Good...close your eyes now..."

K: "Where is Jesus daddy? Is Jared gor gor with him in Heaven?"

R: "yes he is...and He is also in your heart right where you are now..."

K: "In my heart? So he must be quite bloody since I have blood in my heart..."

---dead silence---

---

It is so wonderful to be a father! Can learn so many things from them.

Her signature shot again...

Her laughter can be contagious...




And when the hearty laugher simmers down...



(If you are curious - Yes, all these shots were taken using my Dopod 838 Pro)

His signature shot again...

A christian father's chronicle (Thanksgiving)

After more than 2 years of praying, and countless time of putting our hopes in God.... yes, Theophilus (and Gracia in time to come) will be attending Pei Hwa Presbyterian Primary school!

There were 79 vacancies when we applied and 80 students registered. Usually this will result to balloting, but we were informed by the school today there will not be any balloting!

My son have been accepted to go to his long awaited and prayed for Primary school!!! I am so happy for him. A school that he finally looked forward to. A school that he always wished to be there. To listen to the endless number of bible stories. To be found within people who teach Godly principles. Yan and myself is delighted to receive this news.

We went out for a thanksgiving dinner. It rained, but that did not dampen our thanksgiving.

This is Theophilus' longest prayer request, the second closest one is his prayer for a sibling - which God answered with the arrival of Gracia.

Theophilus have been praying for entrance into the Primary school on bended knees and for 2 years. I am so happy for him. It will be a stepping stone for his faith.

I could recall on Sunday, his Sunday school class theme verse was: "Anything is possible for those who have faith in God." It was a comforting verse in midst of a rising storm within our hearts.

Thank God for this answered prayer.

To all Christian parents: May you be encouraged that there is a boy who prayed (and a family who prayed along) and did make it to the school of their choice. At the end of the journey - God determines how our lives work out. Only he holds the final key. Not the principal. Not your volunteering work (even if you have done 80 hours, the final nod comes from God). The battle is from above and deep within.

A father's chronicle (our weekends)

It is always fun and more fun... I like weekends! Here are some shots we taken using my new Dopod 838 Pro.



We went to the Science Center. Cannot resist in taking a shot or two infront of this monster!... err... the smaller one is also a "monster" ... but I love him.




Of course, we went to take a walk at McRitchie too.... I love to be with them. They are such a fun bunch of people to be with.... and Gracia is having fun here....



Mom's supervision is required still....



Our nation is preparing for celebration of National Day next month... you can see those helicopters flying in circles....




I like sunset.... it is always a nice view... even the sunset days of life....




To be honest: I still like my old N70 as compared to my Dopod in taking photos. I have passed the repaired N70 to Yan. She likes it too. Battery life is great and the photos looks great too. For Dopod 838 Pro, I find the battery life is not as fantastic, and taking motion shots is really a bit more painful. "Motion" shots as those with Theophilus or Gracia moving a bit while snapping the shot. It looks pretty off actually. I need to put on the "Motion" picture mode and take 5 shots and choose one. ... no doubt I have alot of space for storage... but sigh... I still prefer the shutter speed of N70. Nevertheless, from the shots above, you can see that the resolution is actually quite good (I didn't touch up on them). My Dopod is on 2.0 Mega pixel as compared to 1.3 Mega pixel for N70.... not much difference to me as a non-professional.

A christian father's chronicle (Praying for school registration)

Yes, we are in the final weeks before we know where Theophilus will be going for his Primary school next year. He has been praying to go to Pei Hwa Presbyterian Primary school for coming to 2 years now.

Primary school education in Singapore is kind of ridiculous. Parents do all sorts of things to "secure" a place of entrance to the school of choice. I have my part of it - meeting obnoxious school princial and getting the uncommitable liner: We do not guarantee the place for your son, but you have to fufill the 80 hours of voluntary work for the school - and don't miss the smirk look!

Parental love is really great. Parents go through great lengths. I have this battle within myself too. But at one point, I stood back and have to think what do I wish for his life, how do I want things to happen.... I must admit my faith does not always stand tall...

My N70 display gave up its ghost!

So, it gave a violent shake and took its last breadth.... it was by good fortune that I switched on the bluetooth connection with my laptop and perform a backup of the phone (plus transfer of pictures which I took for the past 2 weeks)....

Now, I can only receive calls using my N70, I can't read SMS, cannot write SMS, cannot really take photo (since I cannot see the image before aiming nor savour it after taking the snapshot).

Why must it die a premature death before my phone contract (yes, I sent it once for servicing before the warranty was due)?.... now that the warranty is void... I must look out for another phone... or a camera that I can use as a phone... or a multi-function communication device (PDA + camera + phone + ....)

The bad thing about having so many of these features on the phone is that it breaks all so easily. I was suprised to hear from my close friend Ling that all her friends gave up on Nokia N-series, complaining of all sorts of breakdowns. ...

So, I am using my old and faithful Nokia 6610 .... it is amazing - it is still working and outlasted so many other phones... the only thing that broke was the cover which I have replaced. Actually, it is Theophilus' phone now (he is kind enough to return it back to me as a temporary loan - without whinning and no complaints, no grumbles... just kind words)... but well... I will need it till I find another for myself.

To commemorate the death of my phone... here are some last shots that it took for me over the weekend....



The boy at Vivio City's playground...



Gracia under the cool shade...



It is always good to have a loving brother....



Gracia lost her patience while waiting for her ice-cream to come...

A christian father's chronicle (El Shaddai)

Must blog on this...

Today, Yan called me while I am in office to let me hear a piece of Theophilus playing on the piano. It is from the song El Shaddai (you can watch the live performance by Amy Grant here) ... he played it all by himself through hearing... Actually, this is the first piece of music on A-minor that he played by hearing. So, that is a good start. Yes, we were overwhelmed. Not because he could play the notes correctly... but more so he played a piece of song that is so timeless or in the words of Amy in the live performance:

I am glad to sing you a song about something that doesn't change.

It is a very meaningful piece of song. It is a song about someone who does not change. It is about the God Almighty. It is about a God who is faithful - yestarday, today and will remain so forever. It is also a song that brings out the unique opportunity that we have - an honour to praise him till we die.

El shaddai, el shaddai,
El-elyon na adonia,
Age to age youre still the same,
By the power of the name.
El shaddai, el shaddai,
Erkamka na adonai,
We will praise and lift you high,
El shaddai.

Through your love and through the ram,
You saved the son of Abraham;
Through the power of your hand,
Turned the sea into dry land.
To the outcast on her knees,
You were the God who really sees,
And by your might,
You set your children free.

El shaddai, el shaddai,
El-elyon na adonia,
Age to age youre still the same,
By the power of the name.
El shaddai, el shaddai,
Erkamka na adonai,
We will praise and lift you high,
El shaddai.

Through the years youve made it clear,
That the time of christ was near,
Though the people couldnt see
What Messiah ought to be.
Though your word contained the plan,
They just could not understand
Your most awesome work was done
Through the frailty of your son.

El shaddai, el shaddai,
El-elyon na adonai,
Age to age youre still the same,
By the power of the name.
El shaddai, el shaddai,
Erkamka na adonai,
I will praise yo till I die,
El shaddai.

El shaddai, el shaddai,
El-elyon na adonai,
Age to age youre still the same,
By the power of the name.
El shaddai, el shaddai,
Erkamka na adonai,
I will praise you till I die.
El shaddai.

I am very proud of Theophilus. Not just because he can do so well. I am still proud of him even if he cannot play this piece of wonderful music.... what I am most profoundly proud of him is his love for God Almighty, his choice of such a wonderful piece of song - a prayer that Yan and I always wanted in our lives.

Yes, I did encouraged him to use music to bring people closer to God - something which I did when I was young.

Application profiling (Comparing 4 tools in my bag)

I have not been writing technical blog for very long. On the other hand, James have been writing quite a few technical blogs recently, and some of them are really interesting.

For today, I will probably write on my recent toys which I have been playinig around - profiling tools. The application that I am profiling is a J2EE application, multi-tier, blah blah blah.

Before we proceed, let me state my intention for this tool: I want to identify the performance hotspots within my application and thereby giving me the starting point to do refactoring work, or recoding of modules entirely.

So, I hope this is a simple enough objective for me... or is it?

Needless to say, even though I have previous experience on some commercial tools, this time round I try to stay away from some of my familiar ones - JProbe, OptimizeIt and even the free one which I like - Netbeans Profiler.

The "problem" with Netbeans Profiler in my present context is that my application runs on BEA's JRockit JVM and on JDK 1.4.2. To be fair, NB profiler have a specially instrumented JVM for JDK 1.4, but hack... I am not using Netbeans here in my team. I am using Eclipse.

So, the "natural" choice was to go for TPTP. There is also another option that I have: Mission Control from BEA. The Mission Control 2.0 ships with the JRockit VM.

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Here are some of my experiences on Eclipse TPTP:

The good

1. It snaps into the IDE which my team is using which is Eclipse
2. I think it will continue to mature
3. We can profile a JRockit VM

The bad

1. The installation process is not that straight forward (besides downloading all the relevant and dependent plug-ins), at one point foiled my Eclipse installation. It was wise of me to do a backup of my hard-disk and I recovered everything to the original state. I hate to furge around trying to figure out what's wrong with the installation, when my original intention is to profile my application which I think is the problem - I don't need another problem
2. There is a separate agent controller and guess what? yes, it does not work on some old JRockit JVM. I have to figure that out and after banging my heads for a few days, I stumbled upon the possibility that perhaps it is due to a VM bug... so I went ahead to download the latest JRockit JVM and viola! it works

The ugly

1. This whole idea of having a agent controller is ridiculous. There are so many tools that don't need it and I have additional setup to do
2. Ridiculously intrusive - it drags my application to its knees in some use cases

Conclusion: I still find it a reasonable tool to use if you are doing a JPetstore. Not suitable if you are working on a large application. I think the tool needs more time to mature. And I think it will improve over time. I am not throwing in the towel for this one.

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Now about Mission Control 2.0

The good

1. Almost brainless in the installation. There is only the standard profiling agent to be configured at the VM's runtime options - no big deal.
2. Light enough - as compared to TPTP. It didn't drag my application to its knees

The bad

1. Even though I can discover two of my agents running on a single box, only one of them could be profiled properly. The background is that I am running both the web and application tier on the same box. I think the agent must have gotten themselves confused...

The ugly

1. Absolutely ridiculous in the filtering of classes to be profiled and viewed for analysis. I cannot imagine a tool coming from such a reputable company and requires me to enter the full package and classname to be profiled (imagine, I have to type in java.util.Vector... and there are so many other classes I want to profile - all entered manually!!!) The fact is that when I do a profiling of my application, I want to identify the hotspots of my codes - if I supply the full resolved package and classname, that will mean I already know where the problem is! I was defeated by such a ridiculous design.

Conclusion: Not very useful to me (might be to other folks).

Now, I tried something commercial tool which I know might not be fair to compare with the previous highlighted tools. But I was determined to find something that I can use in the development (i.e. free or at least provide a development license).... BTW, I did try YourKit Java Profiler - it is not easy in installation and didn't work well for my application, so bye bye.

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The next tool that I want to bring into the scene is JXInsight.

The good

1. A more complicated installation process compared to Mission Control, but close to what I should expect even out of JProbe or OptimizeIt, overall still manageable.
2. It supports so many platform (both OS and application container) and VM... unlike Netbeans Profiler...
   

The bad

1. Ghee, the documentation is really not well organized. Folks from JINSPIRED should really sit up on this one - you have a good tool, the problem is that you have people who want to use your tool. Your objective is to make the road easier. In many aspects, you have done so, but not from the Installation guide and User manual. It is frustrating to read it, not well index, the PDF files (included in the installation) does not have clickable indexes or content page. It can be seen that these folks are engineers.
2. The manuals (which is really the help files too), do not really shows step by step on how to use the different views and perspective. Newbies to these tool can get discouraged if they cannot use all the information presented to them - it is thrown to them.

The ugly

1. The user manual writer should really put in BOLD that the user requires to not only start the VM with all the required options and configuration setup but actually runs a transaction through the application BEFORE you can see anything on the console. Most of the other tools usually get snap into the agent and display heap graphs and things like that. This one doesn't - it polls and reports that it cannot find anything within the network.... until you hit your first transaction through the system and viola! all the lights are blinking.

Conclusion: I am using the developer edition now in my development environment, it has a time limit of 45 mins for profiling. Good enough for most purposes, and the most important thing - it works on my application and did not drag it to its knees. It takes a while before you can interpret what you see on those views and as I said, the documents did help that much. Overall, I am quite happy with this tool and it will certainly not be lying on the floor of my toolbox when I do profiling.

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For those cool profiling tools maker out there, may I give some inputs to what a user wants:

1. Easy setup
2. Light (i.e. don't drag my application down anymore than it is now!!!) The reason why I am using your tool is to investigate the concerns of my application - not your tool
3. Please write the documentation well. People read them. If you want wide usage, it has to be easy to use and easy to understand the vast amount of data presented. Not everybody is a D.E (Distinguished Engineer) who can get productivity at the snap of the fingers. Tools should be written for people - people with a mission and task and it does not help to burden them further.
4. Yes, provide a developer's license is a great way. I am very willing to buy the commercial production license -and yes, I am the technical decision maker.
5. Support a wide range of OS, VM and application container. We don't just work on one project for the rest of our lives. We want to build on the knowledge of the tool, so, if the tool can also support another OS, and VM and container which my next project is working on... wow... I will embrace it almost like a religion (which translates to loyalty to the tool).
   

So, have fun profiling away.

Service starts from home

Over the weekends, I brought my family to Swensons restaurant. And well, I must admit that the restaurant was quiet enough for us... we really dislike crowded places...

When the waitress came along to take the order, however, it was terrible. Her body language was bad, and what was even worst was she was not knowledgeable about the products (and so is her manager). We were ordering a meal that we could add on another ice-cream. On the menu, it was stated explicitly that we could order any other side-menu at a certain cost. However, the waitress said, "You cannot. My manager says so." Period. Ghosh. So, I begged to differ and ask her to check with her manager what is printed on the menu. She came back without apologies actually - "My manager say you can."

The whole incident was in my mind for 2 days. I am just wondering... no wonder they says Singapore's customer service is terrible. We pride ourselves for efficiency. We pride ourselves being hardworking. We are clean (might even be artifically too clean? but that is debatable). It might be part of the fault of the company not to train their staff well (perhaps, they did not instill in them the pride of good service). And there is also no incentive to do so... most of the time (they get the same pay anyway). But what kept me thinking is what I read in the book I am reading by Nanz Chong - One business 99 lessons:

"There is a manager at a Japanese BBQ restaurant that I particularly like called Aburiya who is superb at customer service. It is his anticipation of the customer's needs that impresses me - he is so observant, even the slightest need does not go unnoticed.

One day, my one-year old started to stand up on the high chair, and Mr Manager was already walking towards us with serviettes in his hand... Another time, we dropped a fork, and when we looked up, there he was with a replacement fork. He must have had some kind of invisible sensor taped around his head!"

I NEVER have experienced this good service for many many years. I certainly didn't even when I at Goodwood Park Hotel eating buffet with my son on his birthday last month. In fact, I walked to replace the fork that dropped - well... at least to the embrassment of the manager... at least he was apologetic about it, so credit goes to him. Everybody was busy. Nobody noticed the need of a customer.

In the case of Swenson? They scored way way below zero. And this is not the only branch that seems to provide such poor customer service.

All these are perhaps side issues. What is in my mind is where do we start to bring good customer service back to Singapore?

I seem to come to this answer - It starts from home.

The attitude of servanthood is not much looked up to. Some people don't realized that good service is really a pride, and I do agree with Nanz ... some time back, Giodano did have such high standard - it was a joy to walk into the shop. Even though I knew I won't get anything, getting into the shop really make my day! I wish I could buy the whole shelf to reward the staff.

Courtesy and service starts from home. Most parents don't particular take note of this aspect and well... "it might be best not to groom our children to serve others... but to be served". What a shame. To them the one sitting on end of the dinning table is the "master", those who bring along the food is the "slave". One is higher, the other ... lower to put it best.

For those who really serious about bringing good customer service - I think it starts from home.

Are you a Senior Java developer?

Yes, if you are looking for a job and a challenging project.... I have a place for you if you are in Singapore!

Before you do... (and I am more eager to hire), you need to understand and get your basics covered.

Check out my expectations here.

If you have what it takes. Drop me a mail at sun_paulho@hotmail.com.

A father's chronicle (Theophilus' birthday)

Here were some shots taken for this birthday... as usual, we celebrated for 4 days...




This year, his favourite toy - Zoids.



It is his last chance to celebrate his birthday in school.... I heard they don't allow such celebrations in Primary school....



He has grown so much!!!! It was a wonderful day for me.

Happy Birthday, boy!

A father's chronicle (Growing slower than my kids)

Every now and then, I get to take pulse of how I am growing against how the kids are growing.

It was just yesterday that we started to leave Gracia in the Babies corner while Yan and myself went to the chapel for service. It was a struggle for me. In fact, I must admit that say "Bye-Bye" to Theophilus everyday is still not that easy.

A father's chronicle (Grade 1)

Yes, finally after spoken to his piano teacher, Theophilus is on his way to prepare for his Grade 1 piano exams next Feb. His sight reading have improved these few weeks due to his self-motivated learning - he gets onto the piano and practice everyday on his own. No doubt, there are frustration to getting the timing right, and the dynamics... but it is easier than doing Maths.

I am so happy and look forward to his exams next year. His first music exams. Cool.

Forget about other kids being younger than him and taking Grade 1 too. I think he is doing fine and enjoying himself.

Now, when will he complete his Grade 4? I think that is the minimal to at least play a reasonable piece of music... never mind... I am just being impatient again.

Oh, his birthday is coming soon. We are cracking our heads on how to celebrate. Yesterday, we finally decided it might be best to scrap the birthday party (our guest do not tend to buy gifts which are either suitable for him or his liking). Instead, we will just have a mini-birthday celebration in his school with his classmates, and then go for a buffet together. The amount of money to spend in a private party might be better spent on getting him gifts which he likes. We will get him a bicycle (his present one broke down finally), and two "mystery" gift of his choice [subjected to our approval, of course].

Anyway, this will be his last year to celebrate his birthday in school with his classmates. When he goes to Primary 1 next year, the school will not allow such celebration.

Ah, taking about Primary 1... getting into the school of our choice is really a hard time in Singapore. Parents work hard - literally - to get their kids to the choice which they want. It is unbelievable. We sell our houses to move to another location. We do voluntary work - and with obnoxious principle giving non-committal statements like - "We, however, cannot guarantee your child a place in our school even though you have volunteered 80 hours of work to us..." It is almost reducing to begging to get your child in a school that you like.

To be honest, I don't really want Theophilus to be in some elite school. It is ridiculous as to how school "groom" them these days. Their products are visible, and at times - audible. Pride (not a quiet self-confidence) grows like weeds in their lives. They brag (was it not written he who puts on his armour should not boast as one who is taking it off?)

What I want him to have is a good education. An environment of good friends - honest, hardworking, and helpful friends. Being the cream of the crop is not one of item on my list. The sad fact is that there are many parents who hold this view too, and are also choosing the school which have fairly good environment (minus the academically good results too).

This coming July, we will have to hold our seats. We have prayed that he enters into the school of our choice... and if he does.... well... only God knows what plans he has for him. He is afterall - Theophilus :)

If I am a Java class

I will probably look like this:

public class Paul extends Sinner implement Male, Husband, Son, 
 Father, Citizen, Christian, Serializable, Runnable {
 Logger logger = Logger.getInstance();
 Vector officeTasks = new Vector();
 static Paul me = null;

 public static synchronized Paul getPaul() {
    if (me == null) {
      me = new Paul();
    }
    return me;
 }

 public void run() {
      payBills();
      beAHusband();
      beAFather();
      doCitizenDuties();
 }

 private void doWork() {
      OfficeTask task = (OfficeTask) officeTasks.firstElement();
      if (task != null && task.challenging()) {
         if (task.getAssigner().equals(BOSS)) {
           task.do(me);
         }
      } else if (task != null && task.impossible()) {
         beSuperman();
      }
 }

 protected void addOfficeTask(OfficeTask task) {
    officeTasks.add(task);
 }

 private void beAFather() {
      playWithKids();
      readToKids();
      watchTVwithKids();
 }

 private void beASon() {
     honorParents();
 }

 private void beAHusband() {
     loveWife();
     talkToWife();
 }

 private void doCitizenDuties() {
     do_In_Camp_Training();
     if (office_calls) {
         logger.log(logger.WARN, "Citizen module in progress,                      official work cannot be done concurrently.");
    } else if (office_demands_work) {
         if (work.canDelegate()) {
                new thread() {
                   public void run() {
                            deleteToTeam(work);
                   }
                }.start();
         } else {
              logger.log(logger.FATAL, "Work suffering from productivity. 
                         Handphones not responding well and \ 
                         emails to be ignored to clear buffer.");
         }
   }
 }

 private void beSuperman()  {
      throw new MethodNotSupported();
 }
}

I need to highlight the importance that I am only Runnable on a single CPU. So, I am not really doing real multi-tasking. I am just time-slicing.

And most importantly: I was not created to implement Cloneable interface. So, I cannot be at two places at any single instance of time. I am ... Serializable though.

A christian father's chronicle (Standing beside Joseph)

Michael Card (Joseph's Song)

Chorus 1

How could it be this baby in my arms

Sleeping now, so peacefully

The Son of God, the angel said

How could it be

Lord I know He's not my own

Not of my flesh, not of my bone

Still Father let this baby be

The son of my love

Chorus 2

Father show me where I fit into this plan of yours

How can a man be father to the Son of God

Lord for all my life I've been a simple carpenter

How can I raise a king, How can I raise a king

He looks so small, His face and hands so fair

And when He cries the sun just seems to disappear

But when He laughs it shines again

How could it be

Chorus 2

Chorus 1

---

One of the thing that I miss while I am away from home is to watch my kids sleep. They sleep with a certain peace that brings calmness to me. At times, I do wonder where did they obtain this bravery from? The world is a scary place to live in. ... I am reminded of Jesus' words...

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
(John 14:27)

Not a gift as from the world. An alien peace. A foreign peace. Not known among the common. Hearts not troubled. Fear evaporated. Calmness in the midst of a raging storm.

That's what I see when I sit besides my children while they sleep deep in the night. Just like how my Master slept his way through in the perfect storm.

Back to Joseph's song again... as I stand beside him, I ask the same question too: How can I raise a priest? For my kids are a royal priesthood ...

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.
(1 Peter 2:9)

Any christian parent who does not understand the amount of trust and responsibility on who we are really raising... will really need more time to consider the task on hand! I am raising a child belonging to God. Raised for royalty. Bred in a simple home.

There is a line of wisdom in the quote in the movie Gladiator by General Maximus:

Brothers, what we do in life echoes into eternity.

Lord, how can I raise them as you intended them to be? Show me daily, and perhaps one day, my eyes may see this beautiful plan of yours....

It snowed

It snowed last night.... as promised, I took pictures for Theophilus.

Here goes, boy!



Here's Daddy before leaving the hotel...



And at the office's car park...



Daddy with team mate (Uncle Yeong Sheng)...



Wished you were around....

Reflecting on my achievements

Traveling allows me time to think. Moments of silence. Period of evaluation... at least on the flight. I am out of town, in UK.

Though the inflight entertainment on-demand movies are not that exciting. I was able to catch a nice movie (Gridiron Gang) Amidst all those conversation, I was also particularly taken by the conversation between Sean Porter and his mother. Upon her death-bed, she made a confession which I felt so akin to. In comparison to Porter, his mother's achievement is simply put as:

"... my achievement in life is you.... you are my greatest achievement...."

This also strikes a strange chord in a book:

On a final personal note, I want to repeat a question I constantly pose in my teaching: How many on their deathbeds wished they'd spent more time at the office - or watching TV? The answer is, No one. They think about their loved ones, their families, and those they have served.
(The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey. pp. 11)

Those statements speak alot to me, and I align with them. My greatest achievement is my family. My children. My wife. Building them up. Loving them. (I am fiercely proud of them).

At the end of the day, one of contribution to the community is to build a family that is secure and healthy and capable to love. That to me is achievement (not a bigger car, or a bigger house... even though they might come my way).

A father's chronicle (Genre)

(Apologies for the long lapse in writing. Have been caught up with work and travelling these days...)

It is good to have Gracia. I get to observe how and why I did some things for Theophilus.

We went to the Community Library yestarday, and as usual, I went around the shelves looking for books for the both of them. I did not notice, until yestarday, how I actually went about choosing books for my kids - there seems to be a pattern of sorts.

Anyhow, I selected a book written about a beach experience for Gracia. It is only after I have done so, that I re-examine myself why I did that... I soon found out that it was mainly because we only have had a similiar experience just on the day before yestarday. So, it seems that my selection of books is influenced by their daily experiences in life.

I mentioned this to Yan and she agrees (on hindsight). There were many books that were selected for Theophilus when he was younger using animals as the main theme. And for yestarday's trip? I selected 2 books specially for this purpose. One book on Mozart (his favourite pianist-hero), and the other one is on C.S. Lewis (his favourite author for the series of Chronicles of Narnia).

I also wanted to change style of writing (genre) of what he is reading. Thus far, he have not covered biographies yet. Perhaps, it is a good time to start off with these type of writings? I still feel he is a bit young to cover drama, and other artistic works. It is good to leave them for now, so that he can enjoy things further down the road of discovery too.

A father's chronicle (Shall we taste it again?)

Well, if the first taste of success was sweet. Perhaps, we should replay the whole thing again!

It is a good thing that Theophilus' Kumons center have a personalized ceremony for their pupils (at least those who get awards. i.e. bronze and above). So, we went for his prize giving ceremony - now to honour those in the particular center who are award winners. The previous ASHR ceremony was for Gold award winners alone... Ah, never mind... let's do it again.

There was the usual playing around....



Gracia is having fun... running around and putting her head into this picture-taking-board...



With a little help from brother, of course...

No help needed for brother.



Taking a shot with the chief instructor, Mr. Yang ... needless to say, there were many "ooo..." and "ahhh..." when he went up for his prize... there were only 2 Gold awards for Maths, and he is the youngest.



And the post-activity is similar to previous prize ceremony - he is caught polishing his medal (I am very proud of him. I must admit it, even though I am just his Dad and not the one going up to receive the prize.... It was like - Heh, that's my son!) Well, his first medal anyway...



And on his desk, there is an additional present. This is only given to Gold award students.... and how is the feeling like? Well, here's the expression....




And the additional present is.... a remote control car!




Someone in the crowd whispered:"Why we don't have the big present?". Mr Yang's reply is: "Is it really not easy to get Gold award...."

I know, I know. I have been watching him struggle to get it. Without hardwork, there is no reward. He have tried very hard. And it is not an easy thing to come by.

Theophilus told me this is one of the best day of his life.

He is looking forward to get the Gold award again, next year.... well.... I think that's a good idea.

My worst flight experience so far

Well, this is not a "complaint post". But I have completed a 36 hours of travelling. It was very unfortunate that I could not get to book my travel on my favourite airline - Singapore Airlines. It was so fully booked that I could not even get on the waitlist even if I am an Elite Gold KrisFlyer. Anyhow, that's where it all started...

I was booked on Qantas to fly to London, and transit to Philadelphia by British Airways. It all started wrongly! Qantas was late for departure for 1 hour.... and I thought that was fine, anyway, I have 3 hours of transit time... the weather came in. Heathrow was closed, the plane was diverted (and we only got to know very late in the travel... and not through the captain first! But via the Travel Map on my console directly infront of me).

Then, again, who can "blame" that pilot? It is the weather... we touched down at Amsterdam. They collected our head-sets. Switched off the entertainment system.... and were not allowed to disembark the plane. We were stucked in the plane for 2 hours - as if my 18 hours of flight is insufficient!

We were not served any coffee / tea (as hinted by the captain). We were not served any food (they did not cater for this). We were left hungry... and meanwhile, my plane over in London is approaching boarding time.

The cruel joke was that some passengers were actually going to Amsterdam. They were not allowed to disembark (well, who can blame them "again"?) But they were forced to fly to London (which we don't know when the airport will be reopen again). Anyhow...

We did fly off to London (and guess what? is my baggage going to Philadelphia directly or is it not?)...

We arrived at Heathrow. Honestly, that's not my favourite airport. It is supposed to be "International".... but they really need to upgrade it. The line that leads to Terminal 4 was very long. Due to the long backlogs... meanwhile my time is ticking away.

The strange thing about travelling in Heathrow airport is that they ONLY allow 1 baggage. Fine for me... not so fine for many ladies who are carrying their laptop + handbag. Anyhow, none of my business... let's move on with the queue.

After the customs check, I went to the Connection Flights counter or the staff just at the end of the queue. To my dismay, I could not catch my connecting flight on time.... I will need to reboard and get another boarding pass.

And guess how long we waited at the Connection Flights queue?

Yes.

3 hours!

At one point, we were so hungry (remember? we were not served any food on our Qantas flight?), some passengers actually flared up. One obnoxious manager came out and said this to a complaining customer:

"Sir, what do you expect me to do? If you are not satisified with our service, I am very willing to switch you to another airline."

Absolutely, horrendous serivce by a British Airways ground staff. There are 8 counters and only 4 are opened (2 of them goes to Business class, 2 attends to Economy)... and the queue at the Economy is 20 times longer than the business class. Well... again... who can blame them, right? They are just doing the "right" thing.

Sometimes, I really think good service goes beyond the "right" thing.

And to add on to the injury - my baggage is still left behind at Heathrow!

So, I came to Philadelphia with just my laptop. Tired and hungry with no change of clothes.

One thing for sure - given a chance I will NEVER travel by Qantas and British Airways. And certainly not going through Heathrow airport. It is a terrible experience. The travel experience given by both air liners were way below what I believe is "International" standards. I believe there are worst ones... but that's not the point. If they want to provide service for international customers, they need to lift up to the image. Not to mention that it protrays a bad image as a national airliner to both countries.

It arrived in Singapore

I came across this over the weekend at S$469....




Well... maybe I will get it after my current project when I have some time on hand. Or is someone going to send me a Christmas gift?

A father's chronicle (First taste of success)

Yes, he made it, and now is the time to get some acknowledgement.

We made our way to NUS Cultural Center for the ASHR ceremony.

He was warmly welcomed with applause... good way to start off.





Well, what should we do? The ceremony have not started yet... so we play around...

Here is a picture to show you how he felt...




Sitting down is never an easy task... especially waiting for prize presentations!





Now, that he has received it... taking a shot with me...



Individually...



Caught him polishing his trophy (the first of his collection)... perhaps, the sweetness of success will attract him further...




The trophy is sitting on his piano top... as a reminder to him...

Well, done, my boy. Well done. You deserved the applause.

"Latest US TV Series that I enjoyed"

James, wrote his list of favourites on 27 October. I thought ... heh, why not? I will share mine too! Futhermore, I am spoilt for choice - I am in US right now... and my... there are so many channels... I almost got finger cramps due to switch from channel to channel!

Anyhow, my latest craze is my son's cartoon series - Avatar - The Last Airbender. Some of the quotes are here. No doubt... this is NOT the best cartoon for the typical Christian family, I must admit... so, this is NOT a recommendation. It is just a cartoon I enjoyed. I enjoyed the speech, the fights, the clowny faces... it is ... well.... cartoon. You might want to be aware of the cultural and religious influences (read here).

It is unfortunate that my Singapore's cable subscription through StarHub is ALWAYS repeating the backdated series. They are not even showing the latest series (which I cannot purchase on DVD) which is shown here in Nickelodeon here in US. So, why is my Singapore subscription of StarHub and viewing of Nickelodeon different from my US view of Nickelodeon? Sigh, I am on the verge of unsubscribing my cable TV at home. I am watching old stuff and paying good money.

BTW, this is the only "US TV Series" that I am following (only 30 minutes in front of the TV).

Sesame Place

Yes, it is weekend again. We went to Sesame Place. For the rest of the photos, you can find it here.

Theophilus' favourite : Vapour Trail
Gracia's favourite : Elmo's World

Playing starts

Playing starts at the playground. Here are some of my favourites.

This one shows the joy of walking. It has been quite a while since I have learnt walking, so watching Gracia takes her walks without any support and the joy shown on her face reminds me of the little achievements we make in life (and we have taken that for granted).




Isn't she so cute?



Well, boys are different. Theophilus is building a castle...




Hmmm.... maybe we should take a civil engineering course prior to building anything....



We took a walk in the park (Fairmount Park) again... it is like our hideout... it has a big area for us to run and pick up leafs...



Mommy and girl... it is quite cold for us... can't imagine winter...



Family shot.... good thing my Nokia N70 has a second camera...



Someone is getting married...

Fairmount Park @ Philly

We went to the park this morning. Was quite an enjoyable walk. Here are some of our photos.

Philadelphia Zoo

Here are some shots we took at the Philadelphia zoo. Oh, they have Okapi on display! I've only got to read it on one of Theophilus' books...

A father's chronicle (Gifted is a gift or not?)

I guess every parent have their struggles in bringing up their children. I notice every parent is also fiercely proud of their children. They are "mini-trophies". They are "the sunshine", the "smile" that breaks all the dark clouds. As it turns out, sometimes, we still bring along our old baggages - we tend to be proud of their achievements. The word "proud" is a strange thing. The phrase "proud of" is even more strange (as I seem to observe). Why so? Well, to be "proud of" someone, is a "borrowed" pleasure, so to speak. For being "proud" is the "feeling pleasure or satisfaction over something regarded as highly honorable or creditable to oneself". However, to be "proud of someone" is a borrowed "honor". The tricky part of it (of being proud of something, i.e.) is that it often ties or associate to an activity or an achievement made by that "someone".

So, to be "proud of children" is perhaps (often but not always) closely akin to the achievements of our children. Well, not that it is a good or a bad thing. We are proud of many things that our children do. For example, Theophilus actually walked up to a waitress 2 days back and asked whether he could take a piece of paper out of the restuarant. In a sense, he need not, yet when he asked he is "free" of thieft. And acted responsibily. I am proud of that behaviour. It shows his maturity and responsibility. There are other aspects, like for example, Gracia is starting to walk (unsupported) and I am proud of her attempt to make those brave few steps. In this case, it is an external expression. An achievement that is visual.

I seem to notice many gifted children lately. And as a parent, I (perhaps, or is it due to vainity?) ask myself whether my kid or kids are gifted. As it turns out, I think there is always challenges on both sides of the coin.

I read an article (written by a fellow Singaporean parent) on the struggle of parenting a gifted child. And I seem to see a small shadow of myself lurking in the article as well. And there was a line that caught my attention:

It would be good to be in the gifted program but even otherwise, I think his needs can be met – though a lot of effort and patience may be needed as there is perhaps already some level of damage done.

It would be good... but even otherwise. Wow.... good to be otherwise. Good even not in a gifted program? This might seem strange to many Singaporean parents. At least a good number of them (I know, some readers who are Singaporean parent might protest to my observation, but general statements are usually generally wrong anyway). To a good number of us, we push these kids pretty hard (I am not throwing any stones here. This is not a judgemental statement. I stand guilty and condemned). There seems to really a need to change our way of helping them along the way the journey of learning and becoming a wholesome human being.

And I think sometimes, I agree with the suggestion - not to be enrolled in a gifted program could also be a good thing. Our educational system seems to honor (sometimes, even going to the extend of honor ONLY) those who are elite in our society. To be normal is to be abnormal. What's wrong being normal?

If it (ever) comes to my turn to make the decision as to whether to enroll my children into a gifted program, I hope I will remember to also talk to them about how they feel about getting into one. If all his friends are going to the "normal" program, his learning will be a lonely process. Elite, as he/she might be... but alone. And that is not very healthy. We have many gifted elites who cannot integrate into the society.

Anyhow, children are like kites. Always pulling the string tault is not a good idea. Sometimes in order to make the kite fly higher, we need to let it go.... let it be a "real" kite.

A father's chronicle (Writing to home)

I still prefer the old ways even though I am a techki. I like pen and paper. There is a certain magical touch to it. Handwriting is a beautiful thing. I betrays the mood of the writer. It shows the insight to words. I like a handwritten letter, even though I am reading emails everyday - it can be so impersonal (even with the ending words - Best Regards).

I have taken the chance to write to Theophilus and Yan in this trip overseas. To 'betray' my feelings. To feel vunerable to those I love. To show them my inner thoughts, my feelings. Not just in the crafting of words. But how the characters are formed. The strength of writing... the angle and presentation form of my feelings. In conversation, we have tones... in writing, it takes a keen eye to read between the lines and even behind the pages (the strength used in the writing). It amazes me sometimes that people don't take note of such things. Certainly, we write with force and convictions... we shows more than just the arrangement of words.

I am going to the Post Office soon (after written the mails and cards for 2 days... I was not able to find the time to post it off... will do it during lunch break today).

Oh, on Saturday, I was visiting downtown Philadelphia... and was at one of the place where I read one of Benjamin Franklin's mail to his wife (Deborah Franklin). I like the letter... I wish I could see it in its original form...




It reads like this:

".... I sent you two saucepans, plated inside with silver instead of tinning. I bought them at Sheffield, because I thought they would please you..."

I thought of Yan when I read that. I miss her. Benajamin is so sweet. He was away. He bought them not just from a functional point of view. It was also because he thought "they would please" Deborah.

I hope my letters will arrive in the same way... that they might please them.